That life is not always flowers and sunshine all of us know it, but how to deal well when bad days come?

Even though we know that life has its ups and downs, ebbs and flows, we struggle to accept when bad days strike us which is normal because human beings nature feel uncomfortable with uncertainty. We might feel that the universe is conspiring against us, that it’s unfair, that we don’t deserve that. Questions like “Why me? Why did it happen to me?”. I feel you, and I’m sorry to break it to you, it’ll happen regardless of your wish or will. The point is how fast you’ll accept it, acknowledge the challenging moment, and let it be.

I know that it’s easier said than done, but with practice we can get better at it. We should start practicing it small. Let’s say when your phone lets you down when you need it the most; when your friend bailed on you; when you lost a big chance to make a deal on that fancy gadget, and so on.

Swimming against the tide only makes things worse. What happened, happened period. There’s nothing we can do. The fact is already up there. If something hurts us, we’re already hurt; if we lost our job, we’re already idle; if a loved one passed away they are not here anymore. It’s tough, it’s disheartening. We can’t do anything to change it but accept it, let it be, and move on. As the proverb goes “What can not be cured must be endured”. I also like the saying “When something ends the other begins”.

It’s not about cutting off or numbing our emotions. It’s about acknowledging the lack of control over the situation. It will reduce anxiety and make us feel a bit at peace as our thoughts will switch from the emotional to the rational side of the brain.

Life is a travel and we should acknowledge that we will stop by some stations, some stations will bring pleasure and cheerful moments, while others will bring sadness and painful experiences. There’s a wisdom to knowing that either way things will wear off. So we should enjoy, be present, and be grateful when life plays nice with us. Apart from this, when things fall by the wayside we should not despair but stop, acknowledge the tough moment, feel what emotion washes over us, and say to ourselves “A bad day is there on the door. I knew it would come”. It’s okay to let it come in, but not make a bed for it.

The good news is like the good days, the bad days will also pass. Nothing is permanent.

Nothing is static and fixed, that’s all fleeting and changing (by Ani Pena)

The following saying is powerful and plays an important role in my psychological response to situations.

You win some, you lose some

Even though, I remember that mostly when I lose some. I acknowledge that I lost and that I can’t always win. There are days that I have to lose. It’s part of life. It’s inevitable. It’s the law of the land. Keeping that in mind brings me peace of mind and comfort to my heart.

Ideally, we should carry two pods. One for wins and the other for losses. By the end, we would be surprised by how many wins we would get, unfortunately, losses stand out in our minds due to our human nature being designed to focus on the bad stuff.

The point is life isn’t a straight line, if it was you would be dead. Be aware the bad days will come, and acknowledge them, let them simmer, and move on.

I’m curious to know your thoughts in this regard. When bad days come are you used to freaking out and getting unsettled, or do you deal with them with stillness? Please leave me a comment below.

Author

Shirley is an avid learner, interested in self-development, healthcare, and mindfulness. As an English learner, she spreads the word about her process of learning English, that it might help someone in their process.

2 Comments

  1. CASSELMAN Daisy Reply

    Hello Shirley
    Great writing as always and very interesting to bend of the state of bad days. Thank you so much !
    To answer your question, I’d say, it depends on the bad situation because I can consider a level of bad days which can be very short and others can be difficult to overcome. I used not to freak out but I need to talk to myself that nothing is permanent and I can’t manage my sleep in this case. I do my best to recover quickly and to say that this bad day is a great opportunity to think in an other way to find stillness. I deeply believe that bad things can elevate our awareness of appreciating better the tiny things.

    • Hey Daisy. Thank you for sharing your thoughts on this. I can see a lot of wisdom in your words.
      Yes, bad days are relative. Some bad days might be harder than others to cope.
      I do appreciate your approach to dealing with bad days. Way to go.

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